It’s happening again
I don’t feel so good
and I don’t know how to turn it off

Songs that play like sobbing sound better
Coffee as my sole meal of the day tastes better
Canceling plans feels better
And what’s the point in getting out of bed
when I’ll be back in there tonight?

I am only looking at my “to do” list
when I add to it
I am gazing out the window at
work, at school, half-here, half-dead.
I am choking out in the street
My head tells me there are people out there
that are more talented, more capable,
more beautiful, better than me
and I do not stand up to it.
I am up to my knees in unspilled blood
I am not in the mood for your questions,
so please, can you hold off on them?

It is happening again.
I don’t feel so good and
I do not know how to turn it off.